


Green

by yaelstiel



Series: Green [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Ficlet, Gen, M/M, Speculation, season 9 finale, spec-fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-16 23:39:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1365964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaelstiel/pseuds/yaelstiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after a possible cliffhanger on S9 finale</p><p>Note- all this work is a speculation. Based on my imagination and inspired by some great speculations on tumblr .</p>
            </blockquote>





	Green

And then the green eyes meat the blue pair . Those blue eyes that used to mean everything to him.

_How did I fucked up, what have I done, why ?_

And in this glimpse of realization, which is threatening to leave him, he knows, Dean turns the blade toward himself, eyes not leaving those blue ones, the only words that escape his mouth are “I’m sorry , Cas… I….I… ” He chokes. He can’t talk. 

He stabs himself, ready to die. Still looking in those deep blue eyes, the ocean, the world.

Everything is spinning around him. But not those blue eyes. They are fixed on someone, something, Dean can see those lips he craved so much; once when he was still Dean. He sees those lips moving, he can see the terror in those blue eyes, but he can’t hear, can’t feel, and even the comfort of those blue eyes escaping him.

He can’t see.

Suddenly, everything around him goes black.

And there is no comfort in the blackness, not this time .

Nothing is numb this time. Everything is heightened , everything is powerful. He wants to see those blue eyes. More than anything. More than the blade, more than the rush in his veins when he takes the life of another big player.

More than anything. He wants those eyes. But there is nothing.

He can hear only the screams of the people he has killed , he can only hear his own self telling him-  _but this is so good, lets do that again, this feels so good, you know you want it, you need it , you crave this_. 

He opens his eyes, trying to see, trying to grasp the new reality. Will it be purgatory? Hell?

He realizes then that the blade is still in his hands, but it’s not bringing him any comfort anymore, he still can’t see, or can he?

—

Castiel is looking into those green eyes, he can see the emptiness inside takes the place of the emotions that were there a second ago. He can see them, but he can’t read them.

Something is going down. This time, though, there are no special powers he can use. There is no gripping his friend, his lover, there is no saving him from perdition this time.

But he has to try, something, anything.  _The cost is nothing_ , he tells himself,  _it wasn’t meant to be like this anyway._

—

He is trying so hard to see, but there are only screams.

He feels the heat.

He feels his body tightening, he feels strong yet not complete. Something is not right. Then he drops the blade.

—

 _It’s time_ , Cas realizes, he can feel it, he can’t watch this, but still, his eyes fixed on the green, on those eyes that mean everything to him, freedom, hate, comfort, hurt, trust, lust, betrayal, love. 

He comes close, one step, then another, then another, not moving his eyes from Dean’s.

Then .

Black.

Not green.

Not green.

 _It’s time_.

—

Dean can’t see, he can feel, though, every sense is heightened . Something very warm is reaching out, close to him.

He can hear something, but can’t convert the syllables into words, is this a language? What is this?

He can see now, a bright light. And something blue in the middle of that dazzling light. Someone holds his right hand and is pushing against his chest, pinning him to the wall. Deep blue eyes in the midst of that bright bright light, that burning sensation. Heat. 

It hurts. But he wants those hands, the one on his chest, the one on his hand. He wants those eyes, he wants them to stay close to him. Die with him. He needs those hands, he wants them, and he craves them.

Everything is light. There is nothing but this dazzling light, and a piercing voice that seem to come from somewhere deep inside him. And the grip on his hand is loosening.

—

He can see his brother, he can see Castiel.

They are both crushed to the floor. Unconscious? Dead?

He knew  Cas’ plan was a bad idea, but the angel wouldn’t hear any of his protests.

"Sam , I…. " that was all he said , then he stepped toward Dean. Not looking back.

Cas’ left hand on the Dean’s right, on the mark. There is a cut on Cas’ neck. A nasty cut.  Bleeding. 

—

Green.

That is all he manages to see when he opens his eyes.

Green again. Relief.

Then there is blackness, and dizziness, and he is falling.

He is falling in every sense possible. He thinks he may pass out.

Cas wraps his hand around Dean’s.

—

There was a movement, he saw his brother open his eyes, and they were green again. They were his brother’s.

He saw Castiel’s hands on his brother. Castiel doesn’t move. His hand limp on his brother’s hand. His other hand on Dean’s chest. But he isn’t moving.

Sam tries to take a step forward.

—

He feels those hands on his body. One hand on his chest, the other on his hand, they are cold. Those hands he had craved so much.

He opens his eyes again.

He can see. He sees a head, black hair, closed eyes. He wants to see those blue eyes. But they are close to him.

Shut down.

There is a cut on his angel’s throat. The bleeding has stopped. Both hands are still cold.

Dean wrenches his hand free, the mark is gone. There is a strange sensation there. But the mark is nowhere to be seen.

He looks again at his lover’s head, hands, lips, he touches him. He is crying. He was supposed to die. This was supposed to end. He can’t look anywhere but at his lover, angel, friend, his everything.

He can’t talk.

_I need you._

_I want you._

_I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you sleepsintheimpala- for beta-ing . You are the best :) it wouldn't happen if it wasn't for you :)


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